I want to cover a hot topic going on in my daily routine, I am sure many of you have been in this situation and may have had trouble coping with it. The topic is on the certain individual’s that enjoy belittling other peoples reputation when they are not around to defend themselves. Then only to be your buddy when your around. If you don’t know I am in the military, my options are limited to who I place myself around. There are few people higher in rank that tend to do this. In the military you really do not have much choices on controlling what they do. I started noticing this was happening after a couple months, I did not like it and I do not think it is professional. This started to really get to me after this and I found it hard making confident decisions relating to my job. My work performance dropped because I worried of what they might think or say, I would try so hard to accomplish my tasks certain ways and it produced negative results more than if I just trusted my self and skills. After a couple of melt downs I realized that something needed to be done or else I was heading down a path I did not care to go down. My biggest thing that drives me to work hard is the constant need to earn everyone’s respect, this is why I think this certain topic affects me like this. I work hard for respect and when I do not produce results I ask myself what am I doing wrong. In this case, I did very little wrong. I started to realize I was not the person with the problem, those individual’s were. After I talked to some other’s about this problem they assured me my work ethic was fine.
After realizing that, it made me feel much more better about the way I did thing’s. They still continue to do this not only to me but other’s as well, it creates much more tension than needed in the work environment. This is who they are and if they feel their opinion’s need to be shared, go for it. These are some of the steps I figured out on the way to work through this obstacle and I hope it helps you as it surely made my life easier and more at peace:
- Realize what is happening
If you are having this same problem even if it is under other circumstances. Take a step back. Are you really doing what they claim or is it just propaganda to further themselves at your cost. I am not telling you to point fingers or fall victim to a paranoid fit that everyone out there is against you. Look at the bigger picture, you know right from wrong. If you have any doubt’s talk to someone you trust and ask for their honest opinion.
- Know yourself
No one know’s you more than yourself. Confidence in your actions and taking responsibility for those actions are key to progressing honestly. Sometimes it takes someone else to show us something we can not see, but many other times it takes you to know what they do not see in you. Let your actions be 100% and do not hesitate, if you are doing something wrong 9 times out of 10 someone will tell you or else you find out the hard way. So unless that happens assume you are doing right (use your own judgement for right and wrong).
- Adopt selective hearing
Don’t listen to what they have to say, be honest and selfless in what you do. Your actions will speak louder than their words. These individual’s love to share their opinion, if they realize their opinion is not worth their breath they will either quit or find something else to comment on.
- Don’t keep it with you and learn from the situation
Talk with people about this, get it off of your chest. Holding anything in is not healthy. Learning from this situation as a lesson is just like any other lesson you learn in life. Take the good from it and leave the bad. By good I mean knowing confidence in what you do and how you do it no matter how much you want to think different. Allow the obstacles you overcome to tackle new ones and be a better human being. Advancing in all aspects is what makes you more than what anyone can ever say against you.
These are some of the thing’s that I use on a daily basis to close them out of my thought’s, I have to much personal stuff going on at home to worry about making work personal. I am sure you are the same way. This post was more story lined because I wanted you to know where I was coming from and I thought it was the best way to express it.
